


Specere

by thingswithwings



Category: Masters of Sex
Genre: F/F, Medical Kink, Medical Procedures, Pap Smear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-03
Updated: 2014-04-03
Packaged: 2018-01-18 01:33:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1410082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingswithwings/pseuds/thingswithwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It turns out Virginia's never had a pap smear.  Lillian gives her one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Specere

**Author's Note:**

> The word "speculum" comes from the Latin "specere," which means "to look."

Virginia waits patiently for Lillian to notice her, standing at the office door, holding a clipboard in her hand.

She eventually has to resort to a very discreet throat-clearing. Lillian looks up, blinks once, then raises her eyebrows in invitation.

"Yes?"

"Dr. DePaul, I was wondering if I could have a moment to discuss the pap smear procedure with you."

Her disapproval, as ever, is immediate and obvious. "Are you saying that you don't know the steps of the procedure?"

Virginia takes a step further into the office, trying to close the distance between them. "No, no, I – of course I understand the medical process. But some of your patients and the women in the pilot program have been asking me if it hurts, or what its effects will be, and I wasn't sure what to tell them. The medical literature doesn't say much about how it feels to undergo the procedure."

"Of course it doesn't. The literature is largely written by people who don't know how it feels, and often don't care."

"That was my assumption."

Now Lillian has that slow, considering look on her face, the one that usually means Virginia's going to get extra homework in class or be given some new, burdensome, important responsibility. She braces herself.

"You've never had a pap smear."

Virginia offers a half-smile and shrugs. "Well, as you've said on numerous occasions, it's not standard procedure. I honestly didn't even know it was an option until I started working with you."

"Well." Lillian sets her pen down calmly but firmly and then stands up, dusting off the front of her white labcoat. "Then now is the time to rectify that." Her businesslike demeanor fades, and she adds, "if you're willing, that is. I have some time in my schedule right now, and exam room five is free, I believe."

"It is," Virginia says, surprised. 

"So, are you willing?"

"I – yes, of course. It would be a benefit both to me and to your patients."

"Then let's go."

Exam room five isn't one of the ones that she and Bill used – thank god – so at least it's not saturated with any of those memories, good or bad. Instead it feels sterile and normal. 

"Disrobe and get up on the table, please. You may use the screen if you like, and there's a gown for you to wear." Lillian's back is to her as she pulls the curtain around the bed, so Virginia can't see her face or try to figure out what she's feeling.

She steps behind the screen, suddenly nervous. In her history as an employee of this hospital, this is actually the more legitimate of the two circumstances in which she's given her boss access to her vagina, but it still feels odd to be doing this. Lillian's treating her just like any patient, as if the tenuous bonds between them – their work together, their hard-won mutual respect, that conversation on the bus – never existed.

Once she's in her gown, she steps out from behind the screen to see Lillian snapping on the second of a pair of latex gloves. She does it briskly, efficiently, the way she does almost everything, and Virginia feels a shudder pass over her skin, raising it in gooseflesh.

"On the table," Lillian says, before awkwardly reaching out to pat the smooth black material. That little awkwardness helps Virginia to relax a little; at least this is strange for Lillian, too. 

"But will you respect me afterwards, Dr. DePaul," Virginia murmurs, greatly daring. She's rewarded by the slight smirk on Lillian's face, as well as by the deep frown that follows it.

"Who says I respect you now," she replies, and the playful smirk comes back for a moment, delighting Virginia by winning out over the frown in the end. "Heels in the stirrups, please."

Virginia gets into position, heels braced, knees bent, and then lifts the gown up.

It's just a vulva, after all. Dr. DePaul has seen plenty of them. Virginia herself has seen her fair share.

Lillian doesn't waste any time, wheeling forward on her stool and touching her fingers to Virginia's labia. 

"You treat all your patients this way, Doc?" Virginia asks, honestly curious.

"What way is that? I'm going to put my finger into your vagina." She does, just popping it in a little ways. Virginia bites her lip.

"You don't say anything to get them relaxed first?"

"What could I say to relax you?" Virginia can't see her, but she can feel her rolling her eyes all the same.

"Maybe a few kind words. A poem, if you wanted to recite one." Virginia hopes desperately that Lillian won't notice her getting a little wet from the stimulation, though she knows it's unlikely. Lillian knows what the signs of sexual arousal are when she's staring straight at a vagina, surely. But on the other hand, Lillian might not be accustomed to seeing such a reaction, or looking for it.

Probably most women aren't turned on by this test. 

Probably most women aren't used to having sex while hooked up to a heart monitor and surrounded by sterile medical equipment, either.

"Just feeling for any initial abnormalities," Lillian says softly. Her finger is still inside of Virginia's body.

"How am I doing so far?" Virginia asks. She can't bear the silence; in the silence, she'll have to focus on the sensation of Lillian's cool, gloved hands brushing against her labia, her clitoris, pushing inside of her and rubbing against the opening of her vagina.

"So far, you're perfectly healthy," Lillian says, and draws her finger out again. Virginia finds that she wants it back, that little teasing pressure. Lillian stands up to get the speculum.

Virginia stares up at the ceiling, the same tiles she's seen in the other exam rooms. She's practically done a tour of this hospital on her back, she thinks, and almost laughs. There are those who would expect that of her, of course, though they probably wouldn't expect that she did it for science and health reasons.

Mostly. Mostly for science and health reasons.

Lillian returns; Virginia raises her head to see her holding the silver speculum in her hands.

"I'm going to use my fingers to open you, then insert the speculum. It should not hurt."

She does exactly as she says, and the contrast between her warm, living, latex-clad fingers and the cold, unyielding metal of the speculum is striking. Virginia gasps.

"You're all right?" Lillian enquires.

"Yes," Virginia says. The speculum is cold and impersonal, but that seems right to her, that Lillian should enter her body this way, with scientific detachment and distance. It makes her skin feel hot, makes her want to spread her thighs and ask for more. She presses her lips together. She could call this off, say that she's uncomfortable with the procedure and put her skirt back on. But she's not sure she could bear to see the frustration and disappointment on Lillian's face.

And she doesn't really want it to stop. The speculum slides into her, opening her up before Lillian's eyes, and Virginia doesn't want it to stop. She concentrates on keeping her breathing even and normal.

"There's a widespread belief in the field that we should use only sterile water for lubricant during these tests," Lillian is saying, when Virginia is finally able to concentrate on her voice again. "Though to be frank, there's absolutely no compelling evidence that that's the case. I would use medical lubricant, but the hospital has forbidden it for this test. So I'm afraid it may be more uncomfortable than it needs to be."

"I'm fine," Virginia says shortly. She rubs her fingertips absently against the table, then realizes it's making a noise, loud in the cavernous exam room. She stops.

"Once I've opened the speculum, I'll commence the visual inspection," Lillian says. Virginia can understand why her patients might find her off-putting, but Virginia likes her peculiar bedside manner, the way that she explains everything as she goes. She's never had a doctor do that for her before, and it makes her feel like she's an active part of the process, not just a body to be examined by expert eyes.

"I had one patient concerned about the procedure," Virginia says, trying to distract herself from the sensation of Lillian using the speculum to open her body, from the image of Lillian bending to peer inside of her. "She was a virgin, and she didn't know – she worried that she would lose her virginity in the test."

"A virgin?" Lillian asks, all disbelief and outrage. "We were supposed to recruit only married women for the pilot group."

"She was married. I guess the husband couldn't get an erection. Or wouldn't, whatever. She'd never been vaginally penetrated, anyway."

Lillian's hands, which were brushing against her thighs, still for a moment before moving again. Virginia can't help but wonder what it would feel like if Lillian held on tight, if her hands gripped Virginia's thighs and held them open.

"Well. As virginity has little physical presence, it is mostly a philosophical question, and as such not the kind I would concern myself with. You may feel a slight pinch as I take the tissue sample."

Virginia does, and has to force her body still so she doesn't flinch. "You don't think a machine can deflower you?"

"I don't think it's _important_ ," Lillian corrects her. "If it meant women being able to avoid this disease, I would deflower a thousand virgins myself."

Virginia laughs, unable to help herself. It makes the speculum shift strangely inside of her, though, and she gasps in consequence, startled by the feeling of it rubbing against her vaginal walls.

"Hold still," Lillian says, under her breath. Her voice is strained. Virginia wonders why. "I'm almost done."

She stills her body, acquiescing to Lillian's hands where they press, warningly, against her inner thighs. The speculum has warmed to her body now, no longer an intrusion. Lillian puts her fingers inside again, rubbing against her vaginal walls gently and thoroughly. Checking for abnormalities, no more or less than any doctor would do, but Virginia can't help but catch her breath at the feeling.

"Do you always get this wet from vaginal penetration?" Lillian asks, into the silence. Virginia closes her eyes; she doesn't experience shame often, but this approaches the feeling.

"I, ah. No."

"Do you find that your vaginal lubrication is sometimes excessive, or happens at inopportune moments?" There's that note in Lillian's voice again, as if she's trying very hard to be professional but isn't quite succeeding. 

"This should qualify as both. But it's not, um. A medical issue."

Virginia's kept her head back on the little paper-covered pillow so that she doesn't have to look at Lillian's face, or see her standing between spread thighs. As a result she feels, rather than sees, the moment when Lillian understands her: a slight trembling of her fingertips against Virginia's skin.

"Oh," she says softly. Then she clears her throat and says, "I'm going to take the speculum out of you now."

"Okay," Virginia breathes. There's not much to it, and it doesn't take long; Lillian narrows the device and then slips it out of her, easy as can be.

"I hope you're not embarrassed," Lillian says, turning away to set the speculum down and peel off her gloves. "You're not the first woman I've met who has been . . . interested in the business of medicine." She clears her throat. "Some have even orgasmed during this procedure."

Virginia wants to laugh, because if Lillian truly wants to make her patients feel unashamed, she should consider meeting their eyes. She watches the latex peel off of Lillian's fine, delicate hands, watches the tension in her neck and the perfect circle of the bun on the back of her head, and, taking a risk, she says, "It's not just the medicine."

Lillian turns around quickly in her surprise. She's not too far away, and she's just set down the slide with the tissue sample, so Virginia reaches out and takes her wrist. She doesn't grip or squeeze, just wraps her fingers around it and holds it in place.

"What are you – " Lillian begins, but then can't seem to find the rest of the sentence. She stares down at the place where Virginia's fingers encircle her wrist completely. Small, delicate hands, Virginia thinks.

"Do you want this?" Virginia asks breathlessly. "Because I think you do."

"Want what?" Lillian asks, but Virginia can tell that she's being deliberately obtuse. She draws Lillian's hand down slowly, back to where it was before, her fingertips just grazing Virginia's outer labia.

"Want to be inside me. Inside of other women. I was a sex researcher, I can tell these things."

Lillian, still buttoned up neatly in her white labcoat, glances down, and brushes her fingers gently against Virginia's wet skin. "You don't know anything about me," she says quietly, and penetrates her with two fingers, sliding inside slow and easy just like she did before.

"No?" Virginia asks. She realizes, in that moment, just how turned on she was by the exam, how obvious it must've been to Lillian this whole time, and the thought makes her feel even hotter in her skin, even more desperate for Lillian to push inside and give her the release she craves.

Lillian strokes her, rubbing carefully up against her g-spot, pressing hard and firm. Virginia gasps and her legs tremble, her feet still held in place by the stirrups. 

"Don't make any noise," Lillian instructs. She glances behind her to make sure the curtain is still pulled closed.

"Two women in an exam room, no one would think twice about it if I screamed your name," Virginia grins. She provokes an answering grin on Lillian's face.

"That is true," she agrees. "Still. You'll make my other patients jealous." Shifting closer, Lillian brings her other hand down, rubbing her thumb slowly into Virginia's folds, finding her clitoris and pressing against it lightly.

Virginia bites back a moan. "They don't all get this treatment?" she manages.

"It's not standard procedure, no," Lillian says. She sounds normal, sounds like her usual cold self, but Virginia can see the spots of color on her cheeks, the way she keeps licking her lips, the flare of her nostrils. 

"I wanted this from you," Virginia says, offering her desire like a gift, waiting to see if Lillian will accept it. "From the first day in class."

A ghost of a smile passes Lillian's lips, all the vindication Virginia needs. Her hands don't slow down and don't ease up. She's making loud wet noises, now, as she pushes in and out of Virginia's body, but she doesn't seem to care.

"You wanted me to put you in stirrups on an exam table and stimulate you sexually?"

Virginia can't bear to keep silent, and does moan aloud this time. "Yes, that's it – exactly – "

Lillian laughs, an honest sound of enjoyment, and that more than anything makes Virginia feel good, the touch of that laugh on her body.

"I love how you laugh. And how you smile. I love that you make me work for it," Virginia says.

"You wouldn't appreciate anything you didn't have to work for," Lillian says, matter-of-factly. Her fingers speed up, stroking faster, pressing in more insistently. The wet sucking noises are loud, obscene, but she doesn't stop. A strand of hair falls out of her careful bun and tumbles down into her eyes. 

"God, harder," Virginia murmurs, bracing her feet against the stirrups and pushing up against Lillian's hands. "Harder, give me more, come on – " She's gripping the sides of the exam bed as hard as she can, and a small disinterested part of her can't help but notice: _involuntary muscle spasms_ she thinks, and _plateau_ , and _trembling of the thighs_.

Lillian pushes in harder, goes faster, taking Virginia rough against the table. She starts to twist her fingers inside, stroking everywhere inside, and that's enough to get Virginia clenching against her fingers as the first surges of orgasm shake through her. They intensify slowly, radiating out through her in huge, crashing waves that build and crest and overwhelm her consciousness until, what feels like hours later, she's left gasping and writhing, storm-wrecked and ruined.

"Stop," she slurs, even though Lillian has already started to slow down. She withdraws her fingers quickly.

"Let me help you out of those," Lillian says quietly. Her hands – still slick and wet –cup Virginia's ankles one at a time, letting her down out of the stirrups. Virginia can't help but wince as her muscles scream in protest. 

Then Lillian turns away, stepping towards the sink, presumably, but Virginia stops her, catches her again with her fingers on Lillian's wrist. She has a lot of strength in those small, delicate hands, Virginia now knows, but she doesn't use it to pull away.

"Thank you," she says. If Lillian were a man, she would lean up and kiss him, but she's not quite sure if that's what Lillian would want. Virginia compromises by bending her head down instead and pressing a kiss to Lillian's palm. She tastes musky and perfect against Virginia's lips.

"I hope you understand that I don't normally do this," Lillian says. Her voice is tight and anxious, eager for Virginia to understand this about her. But her expression softens when she looks down into Virginia's eyes. "Something about you makes me reckless."

Virginia laughs. "You're not the first one to say that to me."

"I have no doubt."

"But I also think you won't regret your recklessness, this once," Virginia adds. Lillian smiles, dark and knowing.

"So far, I haven't regretted any of my reckless decisions regarding you," she breathes. "I hope not to start now."

Virginia smiles at this admission, knowing how difficult it must've been for Lillian to say, and now she does lean up to kiss her. Her mouth is soft, gentle – hesitant, maybe. It's a nice kiss, a getting-to-know-you kiss, though it's a little absurd that it comes after the orgasms.

Or, one of the orgasms. Lillian hides it well – Lillian hides most things well – but she's breathing hard, and her skin is hot, and the way she's shifting from foot to foot makes Virginia wonder how turned on she is, how badly she wants friction against her clit. She's never given a woman oral sex, but she's certainly familiar with the theory, and with the practice from the receiving end, and she'd like to try it.

"When can I be reckless at you next?" she asks, as insouciantly as she can manage. Lillian huffs a laugh, then turns back to the sink, breaking their contact. She starts the water and begins washing her hands thoroughly.

"As soon as you've dealt with the paperwork I gave you this morning, since it needs to get done before the end of the day," Lillian says. Virginia's eyes widen in surprise; she wouldn't have thought that Lillian would ask for sex at work.

"I don't generally go in for such liasons at work," she says, turning back to smirk at Virginia while she dries her hands. "But perhaps just this once, I'd like – well. I think I'd very much like to put you under my desk."

"While you're being reckless," Virginia breathes, entranced by the image.

"Just so." Lillian smoothes the front of her already-smooth labcoat and gestures at the curtain. "I'll just let you get cleaned up, and give you some privacy to get changed. I'll have the results of the test for you soon." 

Virginia laughs as she ducks out, and she thinks she hears Lillian laugh again in answer.

"I could get used to that sound," she says to herself, under her breath. She wonders what noises Lillian will make when she's coming against Virginia's mouth. She wonders if she'll tremble, or if her hands will clench the padded arms of her chair, or if she'll thrust with her hips to bring herself harder against Virginia's fingers. She wonders what she smells like, how soft she is, how wet.

She wonders how quickly she can get through that stack of paperwork.


End file.
